Head and heart.

The classic battle - your head versus your heart. Your heart all for one person, your head telling you that someone better is out there.

When the battle is real - my mind is on one person the whole day, but when I fall asleep and dream of someone else coming to rescue me...

I guess my head is telling me that there's only one person who I should be thinking of. But my heart screams no.

Power out.

Stayed up 'til the lights came on,
The candles all shrunken to drips of wax,
Stars muffled behind smudges of cloud,
An imagined glow on the horizon,
Could hear the rumble of the surf,
Crashing of molten silver waves by moonlight,
To rouse something lost inside,
Bringing it drifting to the surface,
First, the caress of midnight-cooled breeze,
Then, the simmer of your touch,
Time softened in the haze of dark,
Memory fleeting as the shifting shadows.

Anger.

There's an anger deep in my stomach that I can't shift or find the cause of...
The pain that descends heavily,
It breaks and doubles over,
Knowing no silence or peace,
Just the rip of screams.

Bruises.

You've melted my heart down,
The pain of the heat,
Is drip drip dripping,
Down my chest,

It's easier having bruises,
From sources I don't know,
Then knowing that I'm black and blue,
From falling so hard for you.

Star-strewn gaze.

Nose to nose,
Limbs loosely bound,
Pressed close against,
Chest tightly wound,

Eyes barely closed,
Touch taking in,
Urgent but slow,
Every inch of skin,

Lips so entangled,

Change of gear,

Skin thrums with pulse,

Heart pounds dear,

Fingers locked fast,
Nearer than night,
Cores end melded,
Absence of light,

Discovered at dawn,
Vague cold haze,
Dark is memory,
In star-strewn gaze.

Overthought.

It's the need for warmth when you're shaking too badly to function.
It's imagining everything ending badly when it's all going well.
It's the moment of hearing bad news and refusing to believe.
It's the best thing that happened that turns to the worst.
It's thinking of the end at the beginning.

Walk away.

I went for a walk to nowhere to sit alone and let my thoughts explode...

So human, even though a part doesn't want to be; isn't that why I found myself out here in the first place? And still, even though it's beautiful as it is - lonely - I'm praying for someone to find me here, maybe someone who was looking for loneliness too, and we'll be lonely together. Not lonely though. Alone. Distinct from the rest of the world.

This place I cannot describe. I'll try - it is a breeze, stirring something deep inside yet only just brushing the surface. It is hot and desolate with an icy clear beauty. The empty sky. A stark background to grey-green leaves that end like they've been cut, just where the white-yellow sand begins.


...proof that I can't write on demand.