Blaze.

It's a slow burn,
A flickering light,
Like the smoulder of fire,
Kept through the night,

His touch is not static,
It's dynamic yet slow,
Gradually losing control,
To that fiery glow,

Turning doubts to ash,
And settling in the haze,
Lost in this gentle,
But heavy hot blaze.

Tears in the darkness.

Nighttime slid, darkly through the window,
Glanced out as I pulled the curtains to,
And saw the star shine pouring down,

Thought of how this once was always,
Staring, lost in thoughts and words,
And puzzling life out piece by piece,

Stuttered start, trying to get the words out,
Feelings that scratch under my skin,
And eke out in the form of tears and the truth.

Out of sync.

If you knew how it was,
To feel so mangled,
Then why did you let me,
End up this way,

And how could you,
With your distant vague promises,
Let me fall down,
For something that is never close,

Crashing hard and fast,
Love and life shattered to pieces,
The only person who could,
Fix and put me back together,

Too far away to know.

Be mine.

Burn fire

Ache

Millimetres

Miles apart

Your warmth

B l e e d s

Into air

Unwanted there

But desired

Intoxicatingly

Suffocating

You

Care less

Free

Could you

Be caged

Locked

In arms

Heart mind

Mine?

Just for le jour de la Saint-Valentin.

A kiss.

Want to take your jaw into my hands,
And catch your breath between my teeth,
Make you open your mouth,
And let the words on the tip of my tongue,
Trace the shape of your lips.

Backseat.

You're the emptiness of the seat beside me.
An itch where my fingers grasp empty air.
The flash of a streetlight into shadow.
A yearning for something that just isn't there.

Mess.

Fighting back the tears,
That sting and burn my eyelids,
From exhaustion, anger, grief,
And all I know is,
I just have to get through this next day.

Shimmer.

Is it really true
That everything that shimmers
In this world
Will fade
I'd like to believe
That the sun of a smile
Will always shine
Even if it's just
In my own orbit
And that the murmur
Of some voice
Will always turn my head
Sending shivers down my spine
Putting a sparkle
In my eyes
Even if it's not always you
That puts it there.

There's 7 billion people in this world, so why are we so scared of being alone?

Watching you pass by.

I long for things,
I left behind,
But have to wonder,
Were they ever really mine?

You move so slow,
You cut so deep,
It makes me believe,
You were just that way with me.

Can't fix you.

Anxious for change,
Sick of your stagnancy,
Just begging for breath,
Ready to leave but scared to break,

When I walk and don't turn,
Just promise me this,
Appreciate how I stayed,
Even when I couldn't fix you.

Power out.

Stayed up 'til the lights came on,
The candles all shrunken to drips of wax,
Stars muffled behind smudges of cloud,
An imagined glow on the horizon,
Could hear the rumble of the surf,
Crashing of molten silver waves by moonlight,
To rouse something lost inside,
Bringing it drifting to the surface,
First, the caress of midnight-cooled breeze,
Then, the simmer of your touch,
Time softened in the haze of dark,
Memory fleeting as the shifting shadows.

Bruises.

You've melted my heart down,
The pain of the heat,
Is drip drip dripping,
Down my chest,

It's easier having bruises,
From sources I don't know,
Then knowing that I'm black and blue,
From falling so hard for you.

Star-strewn gaze.

Nose to nose,
Limbs loosely bound,
Pressed close against,
Chest tightly wound,

Eyes barely closed,
Touch taking in,
Urgent but slow,
Every inch of skin,

Lips so entangled,

Change of gear,

Skin thrums with pulse,

Heart pounds dear,

Fingers locked fast,
Nearer than night,
Cores end melded,
Absence of light,

Discovered at dawn,
Vague cold haze,
Dark is memory,
In star-strewn gaze.

Let go.

She smells like vanilla and petals,
Her mouth the sweetness of apples,
She is the dream, the promise,
All softness and easy perfection,
Everything he wanted or needed,
Or even thought she could be,

Yet he is done with her so quick,
Surely it was a nightmare,
Or something in the way of madness,
He will be surprised to learn,
How quickly she can step aside,
Before he tries to walk away first.

Ghost.

Alive
And then
A gasp like exhaustion

Glass shatters
Life pending
And smoke drifts

Rising
A wraith
A wisp of thought

Curling back
Returning
Home?

Hands reaching
Pores leaking
Screaming

Smoke swept away
Weightless
Weightless on the wind

Grey like no thought
Gone
But not forgotten

Soldiers.

The soldiers in a line,
Perfect, countable rows,
Ready to fight, to die,
Just to prove,
Amour non-réciproqué,
There is no understanding,
Of all the pain,
The wars now forming,
The hearts to break.

Do you tremble?

Can't help but write long poems lately - my thoughts are runaway.

Rushing and heaving,
A room filled with mouths,
Your lips shaped to,
Words only I heard,

My eyes drawn to yours,
Dark deepest drowning,
Your eyes on mine,
Know I am safe here,

Side by side and close,
The gentlest touch,
Tremble, I try,
To focus on breath,

Hottest heat burning,
A haze seems to shift,
Lines are all blurred,
Clarity in you,

The crowd stirs, mutters,
Yet here we remain still,
Silent shy stunned,
Hesitant to break,

Tremble, we tremble,
A shimmering bond,
Feel it budding,
A new bud to bloom,

A sigh passes now,
Cold recognition,
Crowd starts to move,
We pull away slow,

Heat all leaves with you,
Fading and falling,
Cold rushes in,
I shiver and hurt,

Dare not to glance back,
Though I am aching,
The flower wilts,
Will it bloom again?

Teeth.

The teeth of the night press into skin,
A thousand pinpricks of pressure,
Rolling over the surface, searching,
Injecting ice into blood,

Shuddering, bitter-sharp pain,
And the cutting sweetness of warmth,
Rushed and shoved aside,
In a hostile flood of cold.

Don't.

Don't act so naive,
It's painful to see,
You put up this pretence,
When I know you get it,

Don't give me that look,
Like I'm giving you shit,
I'm sure you could do it better,
Now couldn't you?

Oh and hey, don't forget,
That innocent smile,
I know that it's fake,
But it's all about consistency,

This is how it feels,

To be completely ignored,

Left on your own,

Expected to do it all,

Welcome to life,

Maybe you'll have to deal with something,

That hurts, feels real, cuts deep,

And isn't so easy.

Gravity (of the situation).

There was a weight on me,
Something pushing down,
When the sky turned grey,
And everything stalled,

In the darkness,
Under a starless sky,
I leant against a cold wall,
And wondered when you'd return,

Gravity gives tears the right,
To fall,
You gave them a reason,
To come at all,

In the darkness,
No light from the moon,
I curled under stifling warmth,
And wondered when you'd return,

Gravity gives tears the right,
To fall,
You gave them a reason,
To come at all,

I'm crumbling into tiny pieces,
Just like the absent stars,
Enough to fill the heavy sky,
To watch for your return.